Wednesday, December 07, 2005

In this moment.

It's hot in the house... The heat must be on. Or maybe it's just me. I've been sitting here staring at the computer screen...thinking. Putting some music on the computer. Classics. Cat Stevens. Spoon. The Postal Service. Random assortments, I know, but good music just the same.

I've been thinking a lot about evil. (Yeah... the paper I have to write for English and the other for Bible are both evil). What is evil? Any remarks or help would be grateful. I'm racking my brains thinking about it. Naomi's paper was really good. I like reading personal papers like hers. It makes things easy and just really nice...

Evil is many things. It is the little boy in Africa. Belly bulging with the pains of hunger... It is the little girl in Iraq. Covered in her parent's blood. It is the boy in South Carolina. Molested Repeatedly by his "best friend." It is the young woman in California. Threatened with her life, then raped and left alone...exposed. It is the unborn child safe in the womb. The womb it cut open. The baby is sucked out and crushed. There ends life.

Is this evil? Are the acts evil? Are the people who commit these acts evil?

Maybe I don't know. I'll sit here in this warm house thinking about these things while out in the world, the little, hungry African boy dies. The little Iraqi girl grows without a home and becomes a prostitute. The boy becomes disturbed without help and ends up being a porn addict, feeling sick to himself at what he does. The woman commits suicide: two lives ended.

And still I sit. How many people have died because of evil in the time I've written this? How many in the time you've taken to read? And still I think. More died.

I'm hot. It's time to stop. I'll go study, or create art about what I havew written, or even sleep in my comfortable bed.

More died. Every word I write (Death) in a sentence (Death) kills someone innocent. Death, death, death. Does God care? Of course. I've been taught that all my life. What is He doing? Watching us to see what we're doing. Death. He sheds a tear in Heaven. Somewhere it rains.

I'm getting hotter. Too hot to bear.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

isn't ironic though? because we have death, life can seem so beautiful at times...

Ben said...

yes it is... and life is beautiful. All the time, really. But I wonder... If I were in the dying's shoes, would I still think that life is beautiful? I wonder what they think...