Such Great Heights

Tonight I want to be Peter Parker.
I want to swing among the building tops...
Thinking...
Thinking...
Thinking...
I want to land on the top of a building and stare down at the mess of buildings and traffic and people and lights and feelings and lovers and friends and laughter and I want to watch time go by. I hope it moves slowly, because I'm tired of it speeding along in it's crazy franticness... Maybe people will look up and see me. If they do, I think I'll wave, just to show them that I am in the world, however removed my mind might be.

"They will see us waving from such great heights. 'Come down now,' they'll say but everything looks perfect from far away, 'come down now,' but we'll stay..."

That's The Postal Service. (Or, if you prefer, Iron and Wine covering The Postal Service). Brilliant poets, they are...

But I see a problem. Who is the other person in the "we"? Who will come swing with me from such great heights? I guess I haven't found someone yet. When I do, I hope it's someone that I can hold tight to... I do so hate fickle relationships, no matter how long they last.

I need a hug...

But since I can't have that, I'll have to settle with the Shins and my own dreams. Oh... and I can't forget Wilson.

I'm tired. And in need of help.

Cast Away

"I'm going somewhere," I thought as the credits rolled down the screen. But where? People will say, "Welcome back!" "Welcome Home!" Well, what is home? I've written on it in the past, but to someone like me who remembers nothing of America (with the exception of painful memories) and doesn't really care for the place, America is not home.

I just finished watching Cast Away. I cried. I cried through the complete second half of the movie. It hasn't really hit me like that before, but I can't help it right now. I am Chuck Noland. I've just spent 4 years on an island that I didn't want to be on. Soon, within 2 months, I will be sailing off from it. I've got that time to prepare to get off of it, and I'm getting excited. But when I make it past those huge waves that I must face before I get off, will I look back on my island with longing? Will I have tears in my eyes? Most definitely.

These next few months are going to be hard... Very hard. And I thought this year was the worst ever...

So...I'll see you. And you'll see me. I'll be laying on a raft, my eyes red from the tears that I've cried, and am still crying. I'll be crying loudly, screaming for what I've lost... for what has drifted away. My Wilson.

When you see me in this state, do not worry. I know what I have to do. "I have to stay alive. I have to keep breathing, because who knows what the tide will bring." Thank You, God, for the will to live, and for the surprise of life. Thank You for the value of tears. Thank You for deserted islands. Thank You for "Wilsons". Thank You for life. Thank You for sails. Thank You for wind. Thank You for breath. Thank You for life. Thank You for ice, and for glasses. Thank You for tears. Thank You for life. Thank You for the privilege of laying down on my bed crying for no reason, and then finding a reason. Thank You for life. Thank You for tears. For life.