light & day

I completely understand people asking how one is when you can see they really care about the answer. But something that aggreivates me beyond imagination is when people ask how one is when they feel they need to speak to one and don't know what else to say. What, then, is the obligation of the person being asked? "I'm fine, thank you."
"How are you?"
"Do you really want to know the truthful answer to that question?"
"Well....yes, I do."
"Very well then. To be perfectly honest, I'm lost, insecure, alone. I'm in need of someone to talk to and share with, and to love in a way that people aren't allowed to love anymore. I'm confused, I'm scared, nothing makes sense anymore. I'm about to graduate from high school. I'm tired. I'm looking for peace of mind, and I'm afraid that in that huge expanse that is the world, I won't be able to find it. I'm sick of bullshitting around in life, and I'm sick of people thinking that I'm dependent on them asking me "how I am" in order to survive, and in order to keep my sanity in this hell of a year. I'm sick of having to fight, yet I'm sick at the thought of giving up. I hate hanging around, and I want to do something. I get headaches frequently. I'm allergic to the city I live in, yet I love the city I live in. I've had a croopy cough for 2 months now because I'm allergic to the city I live in, and it's getting old.
I'm sick of what I've just written, because it shows that there are things in life that aren't all that wonderful, yet I'm sick that I just thought of that because that's life!
That's how I am. I'm hanging on the God's promise that he carries those who believe in Him through times like these, and He's the only one that can I truly lean on.
So what do you think now that you know how I really am?"

Times Like These - Foo Fighters

ItÂ’s times like these you learn to live again.
ItÂ’s times like these you give and give again.
ItÂ’s times like these you learn to love again.
ItÂ’s times like these time and time again.

That's what I believe this year has been, despite all the feelings that are true listed above. I have no doubt this year was for a reason, if nothing else, then to learn that life is immense, and there is absolutely no way anyone can figure it all out.

No that my thoughts are out, I'm going to go drink some hot tea, sit down to my speech and knock my teachers dead on Wednesday with how amazing I'm going to be. I'm going to listen to the Polyphonic Spree, and their blissfully happy lyrics that somehow make you feel happy because they aren't overly exciting.

From there.....?

Well, this is life, and I'm no prophet.

I do have a feeling, though...